{wAkiNg uP eVeryDay iS a pRevilge nOt an enTitlement }

There wasn't a particular moment.....

Yesterday was an extremely bad day... that's one of the reasons i've decided to blog today.

First off, i forgot to bring my ez link card so i spent 5.40 to get to school and back.
Second... i took my laptop to school but i forgot to bring my adapter with me.
Third... i was conned by the photocopying shop uncle into photocopying a book that would have cost me less to buy
Fourth.... i'm feeling extremely useless today. I don't understand why god sent me to earth and not give me any abilities to survive in this dog eat dog world or as Herbet Spencer's puts it"survival of the fittest".

I'm feeling really tired and useless now.... and doing coding at this point of time simply makes things even worst. It makes me wonder what on earth i've been doing for the past 20 years of my life.
There wasn't a particular moment in my life that made me feel extremely proud of myself. There wasn't a particular moment in my life that made me feel extremely happy about anything.
There wasn't a particular moment in my life that made me feel extremely angry about anything.
There wasn't a particular moment in my life that made me feel like I'm born in this world for a reason.

Looking back into my twenty years of life.. i've realised i've been doing something that i'm not good at --> studying. And if you ever ask me what i would like to change most about my life if i could turn back time i would be rendered totally speechless because if i'm given a chance to change my life.. i don't think i would be studying in singapore anymore. The stress that i feel when i go to school... the constant fighting against the tide to swim upstream makes me feel really tired. The situation could be as bad as it is overseas but i would still like to experience a life/school life outside of singapore.

I'm really tired... I'm feeling really down right now... feeling extremely useless.

I couldn't help my friend with the coding project and i'm feeling very very guilty now. Although i've tried to code the same program in another way, i don't really know if i'm right or not. I've been in this course for two years now and i don't know if i made the right choice.. but being so useless after studying it for two years makes me a real worthless freak. Why do i even spend so much time on me?

I still don't feel any better after pouring out all my sorrows into this entry so i think i'm going to bed.. Hopefully tomorrow will be a much better day.

posted by lazyrpiggy @ 8:55 AM