{wAkiNg uP eVeryDay iS a pRevilge nOt an enTitlement }

I'm feeling very insecured at the moment. This feeling overwhelms me, it scares the crap out of me, it is killing me. I need peace, this is when i really need to find peace within me so that i can concentrate on studying. I'm scared. I know that i don't want to give up, but i am not sure if things would be within my control. It constantly frightens me and sends me thinking if things would have been different if i chose to apply for an overseas scholarship when i was in secondary. I am like an aimless float, drifting and searching for the one place to land. To settle, to find the goal of my life, the one thing that i would set of my passion, even burning my life for. Where is it? I haven't found it. I've been looking so hard but yet it eludes me. It is like a mirage, representing all that is beauty, surreal but unreal. Where is this dream I'm looking for? Maybe i'm exhausted, maybe i may not find the dream i'm looking for. What am i capable of? What am i good in? I have no questions to any of those. I'm merely a simple, very average girl. I envy those who know exactly what they want in life and have already set out on their voyage to achieve it. I do not know how long i have, but i know that i do not want to live my life just enough to survive. I want to have a dream, but what is my dream? Is there anyone who can answer this for me?