I've screwed up. It just fell through and i'm so disappointed with myself.
I can't believe i can actually feel sleepy during an exam!!
I was in a trance like state when i was writing my paper.I was actually doubting what i was writing as i was writing.. i can't believe it man! I'm so screwed!
2102 tomorrow can't be any better... i'd have to stay up whole night to study for it. Hope i'll be able to finish it somehow! Just gotta do wat i can do and pray super hard. Gotta go.. gotta go nap. i can hardly keep my eyes open already.
rAndom
I felt like blogging badly while i was studying for 2102 which is not the paper that i'm actually tested on tomorrow! ahhaa.. well.. it's been a hidden module long enough and i thought that it's a high time to bring it to light and start mugging hard for it!
This is really random but i felt like writing a list of food that I wanna eat after my exams.. The exams never fails to make me crave for some food that i could get any other time. Odd but proven true, I've never failed to head directly for those food right after my exams regardless of how tired i was. So hmmmm... here it is:
(1) Eggs benedict
(2) Nice, fluffy all english style non macs pancakes
(3) American carrot cake
(4) Omelet butter rice with beef from Ma Maison
(5) Korean style beef soup
(6) Bibimbap
(7) Cream puff from tampopo deli (heard it's good but i've never tried it)
(8) Custard mian jian kueh that the japanese fair isetan scotts always have
(9) Spaghetti from Ma Maison/Spagheddies
(10) Ben & Jerry's ice cream (strawberry cheesecake & cookie & dough flavoured one please)
(11) A good high tea buffet with loads of desserts on the sides
OK OK.. this list is getting way too long.. i think i should stop here.. else it's just going to make me feel so bad coz i'm still 2 days away from my last paper! 2 more days and i'll be free from this hell that had trapped me in between school and home. 2 more freaking days!
Hellelujah to my freedom! Sat.. 29th nov! COme quick! COme to me soon.. COme to me NOW!!!
Guess what??? It's finally my birthday!!
I'm back! Wat an unfruitful week.. and i thought i would have been more hardworking! yeah right... I was so totally burnt out i was slacking more than i was studying i think! i didn't dare to do any other modules coz i had fallen behind with 2100 computer organisation by so many chapters i had to do something about it before i'm really screwed upside down inside out by that stupid mod!! my gosh.. pipelining.. cache-ing.. virtual memory... they used to be technical terms that should meant nothing to me and i was happy that it didn't mean anything much to me until now!
Weng weng.. please let us all off the hook man.. it sucks needing to take the mod and study around 20 chapters alone for this! just let it be an easy paper.. i beg u man! it was so demoralizing just reading the past year paper and i wasn't kidding! it was totally demoralising.. i read with my mouth half open in shock! It didn't matter if it was open book or not.. it was impossible!! totally impossible!
IT's my birthday today~ 23th nov 1988... 20 years ago i was born. Happily. crying. leading a pretty uneventful life.. BUT today?? It was more then eventful! it was miserable! my first thought this morning was spent sorting through all the concepts for 2100. 15 mins on the bed.. and i was sorting through my 2100 concepts mentally before i even open my eyes to welcome the day! That was that... received a lot of birthday greetings today too! so happy everyone actually remembered that it was my birthday today! seriously! thanks everyone! love yah loads!! mucks! Oh OH.. i realised this american star called Miley Cyrus have the same birthday as me! happy 16th birthday girl... though i don't really know who the hell she is.. i'm really really behind these things.. I've only read that she acted in this nickelodeon show called hannah montana. Anyways.. happy birthday to her.
Behold guys.. here's my lovely birthday cake! yums...
Happy 20th birthday to myself!Didn't have all the pictures with me.. but i'll post the pictures from the other cameras later... Look!! i found this interesting thing at the airport when i was studying there yesterday!
Pipelining? pipelining? stall? flush? control hazard? forwarding? What the hell man.. seriously! 80 over pages of pipelining is threatening to burn my brains and simultaneously cause it to combust! TO hell with it! Just adding one forward unit or one hazard control unit takes like over 10 pages and 4 diagrams to explain it! like seriously! come on dude! it's time to give points and not explain to oblivion man!
I constantly feel the dread of studying for 2100 and the worst part to studying is that he jia took her last A levels paper today and she's off to have some fun while i'm sitting in the school library waiting drowning myself in pipelines and more of those rubbish. We'll good for her and bad for me man.. 29th nov.. when are u going to come??
It's my 20th birthday this weekend (Sunday to be more exact) and please don't ask me what i'll be doing.. coz u're just going to see one really really sad face and hear a really depressing reply "Studying pipelines lor" =(
If my birthday's coming that means xin xin's bday is coming too! saturday! happy 20th birthday pal! I'm glad i've known u for half my lifetime! U're a really good friend! Don't feel too sad about not being able to celebrate ur birthday coz i'm in the same predicament too!
To make myself feel happier about my birthday i shall write all the things i plan to buy right after my exams:
(1) a nice camera with probably 8 mp and above. 10 would be good!
(2) bobbi brown's compact foundation..... my miserable amount left will be unlikely to last me the entire holidays
(3) a new laptop... one that is lighter than 2kg will be really nice
(4) a new phone... the company with the starting letter "N" will not be supported by me anymore! the phone i have now sucks to the core man
(5)oh yeah.. not forgetting xin xin's present.
Ok... this list of very expensive stuff will take a hard knockout at my wallet but well.. i need that laptop and the foundation. the rest.. i'll see what i can afford after i get my essentials.
Phenomenon??!!
As I was walking past my faculty in school yesterday it hit me suddenly that there's this phenomenon or you can call it a strange sight that can only be seen in my faculty. I never realised it for like 2 sems coz i practically trudge through the place hoping I will never have a need to walk though those doors ever again. OR Maybe because I was just too tired to bother myself by looking at anything else but where i was walking. I so wanted to take a picture of that place as i was walking past it today!
I see everyone with a computer in front of them lined up in a neat row or in groups with screens of unimaginable horrors staring right down at them! And there they are frowning and staring right back at it. If you tend to walk past that place more than once a day you'd have notice that those people don't ever seem to move from their seat. They seem to be glued permenantly there for the entire day. From probably 9 in the morning till 12 at night, or they probably didn't even go home the day before?!!! "Camping" on the NUS grounds seems to be a pretty common i think?? Well i don't camp in school neither do i want to do that. I don't mind staying to study till 12 though, but the prospect of camping in school totally turns me off.
Oh by the way.. the above activity is what I'll call a hardcore coding camp. hahahaa... that sight seems to constantly remind me that I'll be probably doing much of the same thing in my 3rd and 4th year in school of course provided that i actually pass my exams! Which reminds me.. i should probably take a picture of it to prove my point!! ahhahaa.. it really is an amazing sight if you don't understand the pain those people are actually going through.
Just read dixC's blog he posted some really really pretty posters he made for his entreprenueral marketing module this sem. Seriously beautiful! I'll have to convince him to take me in as his disciple soon! ahhaaa.. photoshop-ing, java-ing and blog template-ing!! can't wait for the exams to be over!!
I must pass..
I must score.
I will drown those market spoilers that made my life so miserable
I will slash my way through any obstructions
Anyone who comes in my way you better watch out!!
Obama's new regime focuses about the idea of "We can do it" so bring it on man you market spoilers. Come and gimme all u've got! I'll truimph you!
God.. please make those hardcore studying in the library this sem work! I beg you to not make me feel like i'm a useless piece of crap zombie-ing around in this highly efficient, realistic, monetary, more mechanical than humanistic world. Spread some love.... Love loves company too.. though pain loves company even more!
rAnDom tHoughts!
Oh my gosh... my brain is so saturated with finance jargons and formulas i feel like puking so i'm here to release and spread some pain.. ahhahaa.!!
He jia's & timmybear's having their A's this week so i've been hearing loads of stories again! Jia totally can't stomach the stress level. Every morning before her paper she'll feel like puking and she's having insomia again.. haiz.. poor thing.. and she don't feel that she did well for her maths paper. Than again.. A's papers are design to give u a shock of your life.. so don't worry so much. there is always the magic of the bell curve !! Timmybear's doing pretty well... he's like a totally cool bear.. steady pon pi pi... no stress de.. totally cool..
Seriously some random thoughts here.. why does korean shows always have scenes when the main lead misses each other at some train station and stuff like that.. and when they have some super duper sad scenes it'll be at some beach or some bus stops???!!! WHY why why???
Been amassing songs from almost everywhere.. my cousin, monP.... mainly these people.. i shall expand my search to include more people! Wanna drop me some songs?? nudge me on msn and share ur fav song with me!Any gendre is welcome.. prob except techno.. not really my kinda song.. it's a bit too electrical. Listening to high society and christmas jazz now... it's so good!!
Listening to christmas songs makes me feel like it's already christmas. It's so relaxing to listen to christmas songs.. makes me feel so happy as though the holidays are already here. CHRISTMAS! i can't wait for christmas to come! already wanna check out my christmas presents! Love the christmas atmosphere. it's jovial, peaceful and homely.
Yesterday was da da's official bday.. which means my birthday is coming too!! 15 days from her's so it's 14 days more to my birthday. Not really looking forward to my birthday this year.. haiz.. coz that means in 16 days i'll be sitting for my first end term paper(finance) it's totally marked by despondence....2102. 2100. lit.2250 actually all the modules i'm taking this sem seems to be so.!! I totally don't have any confidence in any one of them. well enough of ranting here are some photos from that day!!
Uncle charles with his "3 months pregnant tummy and da da acting dumb!!
da da making a funny pose under request. looks quite dumb right? ahaha...
OOpsss.. hope she doesn't see this.. SHHH... everyone!
a close up of this nice + pricey cake! glad everyone liked it! i chose it!! I've just realised that there are really a lot of "little emperor's" pictures in this blog!! i mean out of my 17 or is it 19 post i have 3-4 post just on him! I have half the mind of creating a blog just for him. Well.. it depends on my mood than.. i'll have to create a new blogspot account so everyone can edit it! especially his mom(jie ling jie jie) and dad(mark kor kor). i think they'll really appreciate it?
OK.. now for the weekly inflow of "little emperor" pictures.. oh.. yesterday reina jie jie came up with a new nickname for him again! ahhaa. he's called du fei coz he has so much fats that his neck is totally hidden beneath all those fats! ahaha.. well.. he shall be called little emperor coz auntie g say we shouldn't call him fatty! ahhaaa.. Oh some old phots from last week too!!
auntie g with a totally emotionless little emperor
leng mai with the super cute looking emperor
blur blur mommy with declan All the three mai's above wasn't very happy with me when i didn't have a picture of them with emperor in my little emperor's picture depository. So here are they're photos to appease them! ahhaaa..have too many pictures of him so to prevent this from becoming a declan growing up blog record I've selected only a few of it. But Now comes the ultimate cuteness... this has to be shared!!
cute hur?? oh man.. i reckon he looks like a bear now! ahhaa.. posing with clare jie jie's bear bear
Well that's it from me now.. look forward to more photos of better quality when i finally get myself a new camera!! byez... everyone.. shall plunge back to the pile of notes waiting and calling out to me as i'm typing this post. Pain loves company.
floating in a dream...
Oh man... As we (me and des) were studying in the school library today(sat) des decided to show me the pictures she took in Germany. OH SHIT! I have half the mind of dropping everything and fly there like right now! I'm so jealous... the place look so fun!! What a cool place to visit.
Should have taken german with her in the first sem when i was suffering from an overdose of java then i could have gone with her to germany during the last school vacation! oh man.. i'm still jealous. She went to all the places I so badly wanna visit! Prague.London.Germany.OOOOO... i wanna go!! me me me me.. Venice.Vienna.OOOOO....
Please pack me in ur luggage if u're going there!!
Ok back to reality.... the entire world seems to be in school. The library seems so packed it totally feels like a school day. Now i know what it means to study in a local uni. Terrible terrible...
the constant nagging voice in the brain
I'm in denial.
I'm in pain.
I'm in a state of panic.
I need to get this out of my system.
I'm looking like some sick clown drowning myself in the sea of words that meant nothing at all to me.
And YES I'm searching for release.
A release from my current state of hell.
A release that will give me some hope in life, determination continue to roll around in the muddy grounds in hell.
Yes HELL.
Welcome to my world: the world of codes, structures filled with adjoining lines that links to everything and nothing, sentences in the books/film/plays loaded with hidden meanings, diversified risk/expected returns/CAPM.
I desperately need a study plan! At the rate I'm going 2102 is going to become the blacksheep this sem. Functional dependency?? normalisation what the hell is that?? I'm going to go insane soon if i cannot understand this chapter soon!! 2100 is starting to become interesting for some wierd reason, probably because I'm insane? Hiroshima mon amour?? Hiroshima my love. yeah right.. i bet this book will drown me during the final sem lit paper!!
Now all i want to do is to quickly get through my gradiance lab exercise so that the constant nagging in my brain will stop and i can finally be at peace with myself. A state of mind that is much appreciated now since i've got a finance test and 2250 end term test to study for too!
I've gotta get it over and done fast and NOW!!
I'm anxious.
I'm nuts.
I'm tired.
I'm stressed.
Goodbye sanity.
Embracing the call of my books.
